I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
