I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Randomize
