thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
