this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
