Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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