who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
