Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
