i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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