I hate all girls vehemently.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
