After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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