WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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