So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
