saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
