At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
