There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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