what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
