I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
