I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
