i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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