i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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