Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
