Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
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Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
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I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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