i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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