I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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