sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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