He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
