Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
