Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
