he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize