Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize
