she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
