I think i sorta joined a cult last night
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
