So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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