She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Dear god my vagina.
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