Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
