he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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