i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
