i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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