yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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