ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize