Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
