I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
