We're like a lot better than the average bears
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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