i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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