Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
