I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
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She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
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When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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