i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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