I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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