weddingsv make me drug and hornr
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
