My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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