I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
