I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Come on in and take your pants off
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