so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
