Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize