He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
