OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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