Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
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Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
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I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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