Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
