im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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