I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
