I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
