Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Sext me about skeletons
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
