Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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