I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
