Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
