Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
God I need to hump something, right now.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
