well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
