lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
