Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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